Well, the blog I posted last week about surviving large family Christmases triggered a few phone calls. Again, listeners asking for advice. The best question was “how can I blend in instead of being the weird old guy?” Really? Okay, I get it because I’ve had plenty of chances to watch weird relatives at Christmas. I’m going to make a list of suggestions to help you escape the “weird old uncle Frank” title. These are the “do nots”. Do not wear polyester pants. Do not wear dress shoes, patent leather shoes, white shoes or droopy silk socks. Do not wear a white tank-T under a light colored short sleeve cotton shirt. Do not wear a white belt… ever! Do not wear a Christmas sweater… okay, I know these are popular but I guarantee that if you’re reading this and taking notes your taste in sweaters is awful.
So, what are the “do’s”?
I’ll try to be easy on you here. I was always told I had solid fashion sense, and I know as I’ve aged I’ve lost a lot of that but trust me, I won’t steer you wrong. Do get a haircut a week before your event. Just a trim mind you, and pay extra to get your ears and eyebrows trimmed! Do buy a pair of stonewashed, regular fit Wrangler jeans AND MAKE SURE THEY FIT. These need to be in your casual wardrobe anyway, and if you’re reading this you don’t own any. Do buy a long sleeved, button down, dark plaid shirt. Do buy a navy or black crew-neck sweater or fleece a size bigger than you normally would. Do buy brown, lace-up hiking shoes. Do buy white cotton athletic socks. Put it all together and prepare to blend in…. again, trust me. Hopefully you won’t be “weird uncle Frank” anymore!
Picture of me with grandkids last Christmas – blending.